That’s right, once you make a decision, following through on that. It’s correlated but doesn’t directly mean commitment, which is a scary word for some.
I’m talking about anything, not necessarily relationships. When you order food from a menu or online, why keep looking at the menu? You don’t need to think about “what if I got that instead” or “is it too late to change it”, because you’re getting what you ordered and thinking about something else will only cause you either to loose interest in your order or anxiety over something you don’t have.
If you’re constantly anticipating something else, you are never happy with what you have. I’ll tell you: the grass is typically not greener on the other side. You can always aspire for more if you’re an ambitious person, sure, but first it’s important to be happy and grateful with what you already have, then to see if going for more or for something different is appropriate.
There have been many studies to show that when taking tests, your first instinct answer is most likely to be correct. If you go back and change it, you’ve probably changed it to an incorrect answer, whether or not your first one was right. You should either avoid the question and come back to it at the end, or pick an answer and stick with it. I personally never reviewed my finished test sheets and I did well. There was one time however that I took my series 7 exam and failed the first time directly because I went back to change answers. The exam was all online and they didn’t allow scrap paper if you can believe. They gave a whiteboard and marker which I found strange. It was not what I was used to and it made me nervous. It felt like they encouraged you to go back and change answers, which is why I did it and consequently failed by 2%. Passing score was 70%, and I fell short of that even though I knew my material because I hesitated and was indecisive, questioning myself too much.
This is applicable to anything you shop for. Furniture, clothes, products. Think about it while you are making your decision, then forget everything else. I truly believe this is a good practise to help people be happy.
More studies show that “option paralysis” is a real thing. There are so many to choose from that you end up choosing none, or the worst one be it shampoo, or partner.
This is why even at the onset of the tinder/bumble fever that seemed to have swept over the nation, I though this will only cause more unhappy people. And I’m pretty sure I was right. I hear horror stories from friends all the time and it seems people are just more sad about their dating experience because people have become even more non committal and things like “ghosting” exist. Apparently it’s when someone just drops off the face of the earth and completely ignores you without any reason or explanation (he/she’s not interested in you, and you don’t even deserve the respect of letting you know because they’ve already moved to the next match). How does that make anyone feel? Like complete garbage I’m sure, and to feel better they go back for more attention or at least validation that they are worth talking to.
Anyhow this isn’t a post about dating websites, and there are cases where people get into a relationship or marry their tinder matches, so there’s that. Hopefully by that time they haven’t contracted clamydia or other std from sleeping around so much, and they’re happy people. Probably not likely though.
If everyone is non committal, eventually you’ll just want to leave the country to get away from it all, like my one friend is doing. She’s literally moving to Costa Rica in a month. I’m gonna miss her. Not to say that she’s only moving due to a break up and because she met a guy there, buuuut that did happen. I’m taking full credit because it was actually during my wedding and I introduced the lovebirds. But now I’m kinda sad she’s going! She’s definitely being decisive on leaving, and she definitely has decided the Toronto dating scene/options available is lacking. I agree, I had felt that before.
I feel I lucked out with my husband having met him when I all but gave up on relationships. I believe he was in the same boat one fateful day, when we shared some tequila shots on the patio of a Mexican restaurant. And one of the very first things I really liked about him was his decisive nature. He makes a decision and carries through, still to this day and I love that. He never hesitated with me, and he doesn’t make me roll my eyes while he picks food out.