Below I will write up the Romanian sayings or cuss phrases, which are known throughout the land as appropriate insults based on an array of situations. I’ll put the literal translation, then discuss what it implies. It goes beyond a basic FU, and aims to really hit at the heart of it’s recipient. You have to do some mind bends to really understand some implied meanings, but that’s part of the fun! Its almost poetic in its imagery.
Some don’t know but I first spoke Romanian, then French, and finally English. It was before the age of 8 so I have no accent, and nobody would know that English was actually my 3rd language. I find language and its nuances very interesting. Romanian and French are part of the “romance languages” with Latin roots, which is different than English in its Germanic roots. Drawing similarities or seeing use of language in action is cool.
Which reminds me, my mother speaks all of the above, plus Greek. She isn’t part Greek or anything, but she had a Big Love in University, Adonis, and they were madly in love so they both learned their respective languages. Under communist Romania prior to December 1989, when the leader Ceausescu was shot dead on Christmas Day, there was no ‘mingling’ with foreigners allowed. There weren’t too many in the country, with one exception being kids of wealthy families who sent their children abroad to do their studies at the top university in Timisoara. So, students. They met as my mom was hastily rushing to her mandatory military training, to which she was very late for (she’s handled more Kalasnikovs than me!). Their eyes met for a few brief seconds in the staircase that my mom was scurring up, as he was coming down. I can just see my hasty, 5ft 2 mom buzzing by like the hare from Alice in Wonderland, Late! For a very important date! A characteristic I’ve probably inherited.
The rest as they say, is a story for another post. It involves the Secret Police, military spies and tumultuous family feuds that rival the best of fantastical fiction novels. Seems im not the only one who lived dangerously!
Anyway if you want to read the Romanian, its very easy as its all phonetical (sounds how it reads), and uses regular letters. All you have to keep in mind are the following enunciations: Ș= sh. Ț= tz, like in Pittsburgh. Ă = uh. Ch = K. Just C = Ch like in chess. E = Eh. I = ee. O = uu! G = j if before i or e, like juice. Gh = g, like in bag. Â= ‘ew’ kind of like ‘ewheh’. Î= also like ‘ew’. That’s the only hard one. All other letters sound the same as English. Easy peasy. There I just wrote a Guidebook to Romanian.
So without further ado, here goes….
Insults of Intelligence:
– A fost spălat pe creier. “His brain has been wiped clean.” There is nothing in there. Its a blank slate and they’re likely to believe anything you say.
– Iești varza. “You’re cabbage”. Implies they look slow or are acting meekly.
– Faci frecție la picior de lemn. “You’re massaging a wooden leg”. Your effort is useless.
– Este dusă cu pluta. Direct translation, “He’s gone with the raft”. Implying they are so crazy they’ve gone drifting away from reality, on a home made wodden life raft. Think Robinson Cruso loosing it out at sea.
– Incetează să freci menta. “Stop rubbing the mint”. Ie stop wasting my time.
– Are un morcov în cur. “Hes got a carrot up his ass”. He is nervous and screwed up.
– Tace ca porcul în păpușoi. “He keeps quiet like a pig in a cornfield”. Implies he is saying nothing. Usually when they know something or are guilty of having done something wrong.
– Iesti deștept ca o tufă de Venetia. “You’re as smart as a Venetian bush”. Youre stupid.
– Are mintea creața. “They have a curly mind”. Unusual ideas.
General:
– I-a picat fața. “Her face has fallen off”. Implies being deplorable. More than just the mouth dropped; the whole face came off. You’ve committed big shame. Lost face.
– Face din rahat bici “he made a whip out of poo”. That is to say, they can do so much with so little.
– A dat cu mucii în fasole. “He threw his boogers in the beans”. Meaning he screwed up. Put his foot in his mouth type of thing.
– Te abureste. “She is throwing vapors at you”. she is lying or trying to fool you.
– Este la mama dracului. “Things are at the devils mother”. A task is unattainable for you. Its so far away its at the devils’ mother.
– Îmi bag picioarele. “I’ll stick my feet in it”. Im not interested. Calling it quits.
– Iesti sugetivă. “Youre blotting paper/paper towel”. Youre a drunkard. Like a piece of kleenex that soaks up up all liquids.
– Se uită ca vițelul la poartă nouă. “She is staring at you like a cow at the new door.” Youre looking confused. So dumb you dont know what do, so you stare. Cows used to wait at their door for someone to open it. Idea is they are confused but need someone else to open their minds. Kind of like deer in headlights.
– La Paștele cailor. “At the horses’ Easter”. Implies Never. Ie. When asked when you will do something, someone who responds with this saying has zero intention of ever doing it. Horses don’t have Easter, so the time never comes.
– Drace mirăse. “The devil is amazed”. You’re so obscene, even the devil is surprised.
Insults regarding family members:
– Futuți morți mătei. “F*** your mothers’ dead ancestors.” Im mad at you.
– Să te ea mama dracului acasa. “May the devils’ mother take you home”. I’m really mad at you.
– Te-a făcut măta pe coș de semânțe. “Your mother made you in a cart atop the shells of sunflower seeds”. Sunflower seeds were associated with people from the slums, who would eat seeds and spit the shells out all over the place. They would sometimes be cleaned up by a cart. That cart is where you were conceived. Implies you’re disgraceful or conducting yourself improperly. I didn’t make it up, im just translating here! Măta is also a rude way of saying mom, so you win double whammy points. Alot of mom insults I see here!
– Mă piș pe mormântule morții tale. “I piss on the graves of all your dead ancestors”. I really hate you.
Any fascinating insults in your language? Would like to hear them!