This wonderful man was my Work Dad. He taught me everything I know about the real world financial sector, and was my mentor when I was an impressionable young gal in my early 20s, just starting my career. He also sheltered me from what I would later discover office politics were really like, which is a dumpster fire full of rubbish. I listened to him, whereas at the time I was often in the habit of dismissing most of what people said.
To set the stage of our work environment, we worked in a room called The Fishbowl, because it was a specialy built and insulated room that only the 9 of us had security clearances to enter. 8 of us ‘on the desk’ with 5 monitors each, and him at his desk. Even upper management had to knock if they wanted to come in, and nobody else in the company was allowed in, at all under any circumstances. The company itself was a self regulating quasi governmental organization, meaning they didn’t answer to anyone. The set, impose and enforce the various rules, guidelines and regulations. Its basically the Canadian equivalent to the SEC.
It was of upmost importance to Be on Time. He would put up with alot of my daily shenanigans, like karaoking poorly while working, taking a sharpie to my heels when they were scuffed up, or eating garlic douced meals at my desk at least once a month to name but a few. He was however unwavering in his demand that I be on time. Even yell-talked at me once. Sometimes it takes a little tough love and I have since in life greatly improved my perpetual lateness. Its taken some effort as it doesn’t come naturally to me, (see my post on concepts of time) and is now serving me well with a child, and husband who is ALWAYS on time, Swiss style.
Among his nick names for me were Young Grasshopper, because I was “green” to the field and eager to learn. Pitbull, because I was very matter-of-fact and not afraid to slap anyone down with words, including seasoned traders and CEOs of issuers. He would use this when talking to others and say then, “Dont make me put you through to my pitpull!”. We don’t by the by think pitbulls are aggressive, its just an expression. There was also Elephant in a Chinashop, because I would often trip over my own two feet, spill coffee and accidentally drop everything im carrying. Graceful. It didn’t matter to him that I was never really one to fly under the radar, no wallflowering possible with this one here. Infact, he said my theme song should be that “hit me like a hurricane” song, and I liked that!
I was energetic, uproarious and some might say eccentric despite my inherently introverted nature. Its not what you think, introverts are not socially awkward recluses and can very much “turn on” the charm or steer a conversation to where they want it to go. I even later worked in private equity sales, which requires getting people to like and trust you enough to part with their money. A very difficult task indeed. We do however need an awful lot of alone time and generally dont like being around too many people. We are selective of time spent with others. But my boss was like that too! He understood me, and wanted to watch me rise despite my rough around-the-edges demeanor. And despite being quite the VIP guy at our company, he was humble and generally came to work dressed like that Apple CEO. Jeans and a long sleeved, black or white shirt on most days. His son called it the janitor look. He only drank beer, and was pretty caveman-like. He too would often piss people of with his brazen words, and that to me is indearing.
He didn’t like frills, embellished emails or complicated new financial instruments like ETFs. Would call it putting lipstick on a pig. Yawned loudly in meetings he didn’t enjoy and just wouldn’t do things he didn’t want to do. Thats hilarious! And respectable. Lastly, he has these thick downward pointing eyebrows that makes him look really mean and intimidating, but beneath the appearance he is actually a big softie. I wont tell you his wedding song, but its full cheese.
After I left we would still gather periodically with a few people on the street for Thursday night rounds – obligatory drinking sessions for anyone who works on Bay street. I went to his 50th bday at his home, and kept in touch while I lived abroad. When I came back, he helped me re enter the industry- a very hard thing to do once you willingly leave, but with him on my side exceptions were made. Its a tight knit boys club and I was allowed back in. When I had my son, he sent a giant box of clothes and baby things that his wife had put together. That box was SO useful. I miss him and remember him fondly.
The main pearl of wisdom he gave me was to ‘Stop Yourself’. I would often got on unhinged tangents regarding the latest idiot persons’ actions, or general life injustices riddles with strong opinions or perspectives. (#intjproblems). If I would go too far or get too worked up on one such rant, he would expressively and in a jokingly tone exlaim, “Stop Yourself”. Its not telling a woman to relax or calm down which surely is to be met with hellfire, and makes you stop and think about your control over your own actions. I still use it on people today and it has an equally stunning effect.
He also explained how to look at aging. This is not a philosophical idea, its a rather basic mathematical equation that I have since never forgotten: When a child goes from 1 to 2 years of age, 50% of their life has elapsed. Everything is a big deal because they only have that one year under their belt. Each year the percentage lessens so by the time you go from 9 to 10, only 10% of your life was experienced in one year, and so on. Things are not as trivial as when you were 2, and would get upset if someone took away a toy you were playing with. Now you might be mad if your friends exclude you. His point being, dont sweat the small stuff, let it all go because by the time you get to his ripe old age, you realize most things you can laugh at, as it dont matter. So aging is a good thing.
He told me to determine whether I’m a Bear, a Bull or a Pig, with the caveat to remember that pigs get slaughtered. Its a real industry term referencing investment styles or attitude. To be bearish is to have a negative outlook on the market and invest accordingly. To be bullish is to be optimistic and see uptrends that determine when you invest. I was upset one day because the stock I had previously sold at a large profit, had continued to exponentially increased in value. I felt I pulled the trigger too early. He said so long as I made money, there was nothing to be upset about. If I wallow about in the fact that it had gone higher still, I would be considered a greedy pig. I remember that when I invest in anything to this day.
The grass is not always greener elsewhere. He was very upset when I quit, and offended that I didn’t even give him a chance to potentially counter offer. I did this for several reasons I will explain below, but in hindsight those words rang so very true. Not just applicable to work, but life over all. It took several years for me to see it but he’s right. When you’re constantly in search for greener pastures, you may end up with something worse. And of course its good to be tenatious but its equally important to stay appreciative of what you do have, and really consider major life decisions thoroughly. Sometimes it’s not that bad! I dont live with regrets because all my cumulative experiences lead to my life today, which I wouldn’t change for anything, but I do sometimes think about where I would’ve been had I stayed at that particular job and had a touch more patience.
So I had quit because the HR Grinch had it in for me, and another company had offered me double the salary. In Canada that is a big leap, and sometimes people really are out to get you. I also wanted the experience to be “street side”, meaning at one of the firms we used to monitor. I deducted that even if my boss tried to offer me more money, the newly appointed head of HR, Captain Krusty the Crass Clown, would mop the floor with the idea, flexing her large muscle onto the young, ambitious one.
There is a special sub species of women who created the glass ceiling, if such a thing exists. Hear me out before you remind me about oppression in the workplace from men. My boss previously tried to get me another promotion but she had squashed it, citing that the position he wanted to give me required minimum ten years experience, not four. He also admitted to me that she hadn’t like me from the very beginning, during our joint interview. After I left she flipped my resume to the reject pile and said “I could pass”. He unflipped it to the maybe pile, because he liked 2 things.
One was that he thought I was sharp because I correctly identified what an algorithm is using an analogy to a rubrics cube. This was actually a conicidental fluke. I didn’t really understand what an algo was at the time, in relation to finance and tech, but some weeks earlier happened to stumble upon the word while You Tubing videos on how to solve a rubrics cube. I do weird random things like that. I bought a rubrics cube with the intent to solve it, and tried to self teach myself how to accomplish it. Its a sequence, or finite set of mathematical equations that if repeated enough times will bring you to your destination.
The other was that he found me amusing, and chuckled when asked about my salary expectations. I answered with an hourly wage. Nobody does that; its always annual. I was a bartender at a high end nightclub at the time while finishing up a Criminology degree, and it didn’t occur to me that I should state how much I want, per year. Maybe I was nervous or taken aback, and the position was a temp job so I assumed it would be temporary. I had gone through a recruiter who didn’t mention it was with the possibility of extention. Anyway it made him laugh, which is always good in an interview.
That bar experience was crazy but not entirely frivolous, and I didn’t want to do it forever; my quick basic math capacities maximized my tips at the end of the night, since people mostly used cash back then. I typically had amongst the highest sales for the night, so they eventually gave me the entire Ice Lounge. It was literally a full bar made of ice on the patio, back when celebrities used to populate it in its heyday, pre 2007 recession. In the summer there was a pool and imported palm trees, which was unique for Toronto. People were flush and I met a bunch of celebrities, but im not trying to name drop. Some were real asinine like Paris Hilton when she was still popular, who made a barback go fetch her McDonald’s at 4am. Oops, one name drop.
I got creative too; when guys would ask to buy me a drink, which was often, I had a row of shot glasses filled with water lined up to down, and would pocket the cost of the ‘vodka’ shot. I’d say the premium Belvedere or Greygoose vodkas too, because they cost double. I was all business, there to make money not entertain a partygoer. I’m not entirely proud of it but its not like I was making them do anything against their will, or robbing them blind like jlo did in that Hustlers movie about strippers 🤣. In comparison to what some financial professionals do, it was childsplay anyway. I was a full time student already living on my own, that money was literally to eat, and people who went to the ice lounge could afford to throw some bread at the bartender who had to listen to their nonsensical babble all night long.
As well it taught me how to be chill in a fast paced, high strung environment. Imagine 20- 40 drunk people at any given time waiting around to get more of their precious drinks. Screaming their orders at me since I was sandwhiched in between two massive speakers. To say its stressful is an understatement. So when shit hit the fan in the markets and we had to roll back trades, I already knew how to be calm amidst the storm. I even later became the fire warden on our floor at the suggestion of several people. Said I was their best bet at quickly evacuating everyone on-site, and would help the person freaking or out rocking back and forth in a corner, in the event of a real fire. Hard to explain but its a combination of being fast and assertive yet calm and unperturbed. Working out now too, under world wide lock down orders due to a global pandemic. Wow.
Lastly, he got it in my head to buy gold. Buy physical gold for when the apocalypse hits, he said. Thats it. Said 13 years ago. I’ll just leave that right here and go. Take it and go.